i've been spending so much time updating my potter tumblr, and i just made another tumblr for fun. i'd like to keep a-marauder strictly potter related, so dontmakeasound is for other things. the concept of tumblr is cool, if anybody wants to start a blog tumblr is a good place to start. u can easily put audio, video, links but i think the fun thing about tumblr is following ppl and reblogging their post.

anyways. my aunt came n spent the whole day here in the house yesterday so she saw me all the time sitting in front of the pc, not talking to anyone, not eating and basically doing nothing but browsing internet so at one point she asked: 'tak kluar ke ina? cuti ni?" (aren't you going out? it's the weekend"); so i stopped a while and see what exactly i was doing at that time.

well, i was:
i. updating both tumblrs
ii. updating twitter while watching half-blood prince
iii. thinking of changing my blogspot's template to this
iv. and basically browsing 10 other tabs in my internet explorer

the thing is, not that i dont like going out, its just that i never want to initiate going anywhr, because i think unless i'm asked specifically where i want to go, the rights of deciding whr to go lies to the person who asked the other person out, which most of the time that person HAS A CAR, and CAN DRIVE.

and it's so much effort to go out. if u want 5 ppl to go out together, u have to plan and plan to make sure that everyody is free, nobody's boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee had made plans with them, and basically make sure we're going to a place whr everybody can find sumthing to do, or dont mind doing the thing that you're planning to do. and most of the time i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO WEAR. (yes lame as it is, that's actually a big prolem)

i dont mind going out just the two of us, or the three of us. i find those time easier  actually. at least somebody will listen to me. a lot of the time i have something to talk about but when there's too many ppl i just think it's not important.

maybe i'm looking at it too deep. i feel spontaneous planning is best. want to go out - ask whoever that's availale - go out - get/do things - come back. then nobody can say anything, cz if you're not available today, i'll see u some other time. and if nobody is available i'll just go out by myself. no problem. most of the time i only want to go bukit bintang to look at things and times square for borders anyways. or sogo.

with that said for my birthday this year can i please go somewhr far? officemates are planning lunch+bday cake+theme colour of the day but i really dont want anything.

helpless

i cant help my heart
if it wants to break
i cant help my head
if it wants dead

you know you can be told about all the goodness in the world, but still feel sad, and no motivational words can soothe you? my msn profile picture says "keep calm and carry on" and my ym profile msg says "We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on" but all i want to do is shout and shout and just give up and sink.

because at the back of my mind frou frou's shh is stuck in my head and it says
"we're not safe yet".

longing

helo dear, if you're here,
i've been looking all over,
but you never appear,
would you fancy,
having tea,
with me?

i'd like to know you better,
to see if we can ever,
stay together,
or if it's not to be,
you and me,
definitely.

could you show a sign please,
oh, don't tease,
i can't stand the cheese,
let's get straight to it,
to see if we fit,
or if it's shit.

maybe then i can move on,
maybe then the longing is gone,
and i wouldn't be drawn,
to your stare,
where the glare,
rivals the sun bare.

written while i listen to kate walsh's new album light and dark and entertaining my new pastime of reading excel blogs like this one. also with this rhyme i concur this post.

pain

too far
so it scars
cant touch
but i vouch
the wanting
of something

waiting
but nothing

anticipation
of tension
kills me
currently
no end
i can sense
so i sit
infinite

m sitting in front of the pc amidst the chaos of my siblings getting ready to go out for raya, trying to read advanced bond concepts from investopedia, listening to a wonderful cover of taking back sunday's make damn sure and trying to make a skins playlist in imeem and youtube, all the while thinking abt this guy i met in the bus and realising that being head over heels over someone is...painful. it doesnt help when i'm also currently at new york i love you by lcd soundsystems in the skins playlist. it says, 'new york, i love you, but you're bringing me down', which makes me, what else, want to rhyme. but after trying a few times i just cant. i guess i dont like the guy that much then, cz he doesnt inspire me haha. or does he numb my senses so much that i cant feel anything else anymore?

today was an eventful day and somehow i feel i have to hv it chronicled

1. went to petaling street, my sister bought a faux lesportsac travel bag, haggled till 50% off
2. finally opened a ASb account, thus one of this year's new year resolution crossed
3. next stop was kl sentral. went by komuter, after waiting for the train for 10 minutes thought: WHY DIDNT WE TAKE THE LRT??
4. paid my study loan after 3 months
5. went to low yat plaza, where we bought my dad a new phone, and my sister a pendrive
6. met some guy i longed to meet while waiting for a bus to mid valley
7. bought the time traveler's wife and found this finally in harry potter and the order of the pheonix american edition

based on this

mish mash potato motor

peanut butter motherfucker,
nantucket in a bucket,
hunger pangs and cymbal clangs,
parrots and a carrot.

tyres and red wires,
rubber stamp and  baby pram,
night-time stars and wars,
carwash and a #.

jar of nutella in the cellar,
cupcake and a rake,
mobius strip and waiter tips,
a black sheep and friendship.